Tuesday, August 06, 2019

Schlossberg - To Young to Be Old

Nancy Schlossberg is a former colleague from University of Maryland days and it was exciting to see that she was still writing at age 90 and still pushing the envelop on ideas that are helpful in negotiating life transitions. The essence of her book, Too Young to Be Old (2017), is that we should move from a deficit perspective of all that is going wrong for us as we age to “positive aging” perspective.

Research has found that many people actually become happier as they age. One’s emotional state, life circumstances, and intentional activity impact this sense of happiness. But the bottom line is that we can’t control the ups and downs we will face but we can control the way we deal with it, and our resilience in coping with it.

Managing change and transition is key to cultivating resilience and Schlossberg has literally researched and written about every generation from adolescents through seniors in this area. Without understanding the changes we face and without the ability to know how to manage them, we are all vulnerable. She found three key factors that impact the outcome of any given transition; the degree of change we face (they can be major or minor), the timing of the transition (they can be on, off, out-of-time, or nonevents in relation to what is typical), and the transition process itself  (preparedness and supports available during the transition). These dynamics are explained in greater detail in Chapter 3 but four questions that are relevant in assessing the challenges we face are: 1) Can I change the situation? 2) Can I change the meaning of the situation? 3) Can I relax? 4) Or should I do nothing?

Specific to retirement, Schlossberg indicates that there are six major paths which are followed; continuers who modify but continue down the same path, adventurers who pursue unrealized dreams, easy gliders who just back off and relax, involved spectators who still engage in their previous work, searchers who are still looking for their niche, and retreaters who disengage or just become couch potatoes. Although there are some value loadings to these different approaches, what is important is being intentional about the type of retirement one seeks, where it will take place, and the social supports available in the retirement setting.

Individual experiences vary so much across the aging spectrum when it comes to health and that makes it one of the most complicated aspects of aging. Positive aging can be achieved here by taking charge of our perceptions of the health challenges we face and then examining and mobilizing the resources to help us cope.  Schlossberg notes several poignant examples, including the loss of her husband and facing debilitating physical problems herself at the same time. The keys of perception and marshaling resources were essential in all these examples.

Schlossberg concludes with a familiar reminder – how important it is to maintain old, reach out to new, and to welcome the transition of key friendships as we age. Acquaintances can fall into intimate (family, life-long colleagues), associates and neighbors, and institutional support systems. Although the weight of each is different, each level is important to maintaining a sense that we matter to someone else, that we love and are loved, and that we are appreciated. And, beyond the relationships, it’s important to have something to hope for and that has meaning for us and gives our lives purpose.

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