Schlossberg - Revitalizing Retirement

I've supposedly been retired for over 10 years now. Yet, I've not been able to actually say that I am retired nor have I been able to stop learning, writing, working, and creating. The only difference between my life before 2014 and now is that I used to get paid for my contributions. Now I either volunteer, am invited, or fall into opportunities on a regular basis and, thus, I call myself "semi-retired." Fortunately, Nancy Schlossberg's Revitalizing Retirement: Reshaping Your Identity, Relationships, and Purpose  (2009) gave me a fuller understanding that the way I've chosen to spend these years isn't that strange - it's one of several paths that people can choose after their full-time working careers.

For a starter, retirement is best framed as a series of phases or stages rather than a destination. Schlossberg cites Gene Cohen who defined them as:

1. Midlife reevaluation, which is a better way to describe this "time for exploration and transition" than the term midlife crisis;
2. Liberation, a "time to experiment";
3. Summing up, a period to review one's life, followed by giving back through such activities as volunteering; and
4. Encore, which he described as "the desire to go on, even in the face of adversity or loss." (Locator 203)
   

Schlossberg reviews these phases through a lens that she used throughout her career as a researcher and author - mattering. Mattering, the belief or feeling that we are noticed or count, is a human need that is present throughout the life span. How one finds ways to enhance mattering is unique to the individual even though there are predictable life thresholds that can put that sense of mattering at risk. The specific qualities that support a sense of mattering include attention, importance, appreciation, and dependence. Particularly during one's post-working years, the recipe for how these ingredients can be enhanced include 1) "getting involved and staying involved, b) harnessing the power of invitation, c) taking initiative, and d) doing your best to make others feel that they matter" (Locator 514).

Six pathways that retirees may choose are 1) continuers, 2) easy gliders, 3) adventurers, 4) searchers, 5) involved spectators, and 6) retreaters. Schlossberg provides definitions and examples of each of these and is careful not to show preference or judgment about whatever path one might choose. Retirees may adopt one of these six depending on everything from health to wealth, to opportunity. The point is that retirees have choices and whatever the path one chooses, some way of maintaining a sense that you matter and make a continuing contribution is a must.

Revitalizing Retirement is a great resource for individuals to read or Schlossberg even suggests the possibility of a study group whose members might go through the book, reading and discussing as they go, and responding to the check up that concludes each chapter. Particularly during the preparatory time for retirement, it's important not to move too quickly and without a period of testing and evaluation. To age gracefully and embrace whatever model one chooses requires "time: time to mourn for what you left, time to figure out what's next, and time to feel comfortable with a new life" (Locator 2052).

Grant - Think Again

Adam Grant's Think Again (2021) asserts the central thesis that sometimes our first response or intuition is incorrect. Further, because errors are more common on first-blush, leaders and constituents need to adopt strategies that can help to critically examine and thereby come to better plans to respond.

The common approaches to arguing issues on which we disagree are the preacher, prosecutor, politician, or the scientist. The preacher mode is invoked when sacred beliefs are in jeopardy. The prosecutor mode is activated when we recognize flaws in others' reasoning. The politician mode is used when we seek to win over the opposition. Grant's proposition is that we would make better decisions if we abandoned the first three strategies and, instead, cultivate a more scientific approach motivated by the search for truth and utilizing experiments to test hypotheses and discover new knowledge. "Scientific thinking favors humility over pride, doubt over certainty, curiosity over closure" (Locator 437). The antidote to arrogance, which Grant characterizes as "ignorance plus conviction" (Locator 653) is humility, a word derived from the Latin root meaning, "from the earth," or being grounded.

A very interesting assertion in relation to the current political strategy of the Trump administration is that "skilled negotiators rarely went on offense or defense. Instead, they expressed curiosity with questions like 'So you don't see any merit in this proposal at all?" (Locator 1462) Perhaps negotiations in Washington and around the world would be different if this approach were embraced.

How to apply scientific thinking is then examined in the broader sections of Grant's book, labeled individual rethinking, interpersonal rethinking, and collective rethinking. Spoiler alert - the best thinking and highlights of Think Again are summarized in the Epilogue of "Actions for impact" and in Grant's own book summary.

The following quote directly addresses the dilemma faced in leadership:

It's easy to see the appeal of a confident leader who offers a clear vision, a strong plan, and a definitive forecast for the future. But in times of crisis as well as times of prosperity, what we need more is a leader who accepts uncertainty, acknowledges mistakes, learns from others, and rethinks plans (Locator 3428).

The advice on how to cultivate this kind of leadership from Grant's "Action for Impact" include:

Individual rethinking:

1. Think like a scientist
2. Define your identity in terms of values, not opinions
3. Seek out information that goes against your views
4. Beware of getting stranded on the summit of Mount Stupid
5. Harness the benefits of doubt
6. Embrace the joy of being wrong
7. Learn something new from each person you meet
8. Build a challenge network, not just a support network
9. Don't shy away from constructive conflict

Interpersonal rethinking:

1. Ask better questions
2. Practice the art of persuasive listening
3. Question how rather than why
4. Ask "What evidence would change your mind?"
5. Ask how people originally formed an opinion
6. Acknowledge common ground
7. Remember that less is often more
8. Reinforce freedom of choice
9. Have a conversation about the conversation

Collective rethinking:

1. Have more nuanced conversations
2. Don't shy away from caveats and contingencies
3. Expand your emotional range
4. Have a weekly myth-busting discussion at dinner
5. Invite kids to do multiple drafts and seek feedback from others
6. Stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up
7. Abandon best practices
8. Establish psychological safety
9. Keep a rethinking scorecard
10. Throw out the ten-year plan
11. Rethink your actions, not just your surroundings
12. Schedule a life checkup
13. Make time to THINK AGAIN

At the core of these recommendations are intellectual humility, curiosity, and the eagerness to explore perspectives that contrast with our own. My experience has taught me that there are those who are interested in this level of honesty and inquiry and others who are not. The key is determining who welcomes your curiosity and the "clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn't agreeing with someone. It's enjoying your disagreement with them" (Locator 1133).